Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
