you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
