She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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