Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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