Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
