Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
