So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
