And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
only you would photoshop your dick
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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