I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
