If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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