i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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