I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
