awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
