I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
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OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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