Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
