your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
