glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
