Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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