i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
