I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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