someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
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I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
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He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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