I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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