I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize