I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
