Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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