So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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