All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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