Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
