It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
