i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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