please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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