all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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