Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
