with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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