She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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