She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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