just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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