im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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