Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
