What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
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A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
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I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
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