Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Say something about gay babies.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
