Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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