I wannas sexs uuuuu
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
