I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
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