Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
