??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
