Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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