By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
