I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
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