god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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