We won't sleep together?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
