Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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