i permit you to call me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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