and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
