Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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