just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
