PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
