i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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