I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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