life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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