somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
