i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
