i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
