We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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